Morning Shi* Show
Today was one of those mornings. You know, the kind where you feel like you've been through hell and back by the time you get to work at 8am? Well, honestly most mornings have felt that way for a long time. But today was worse.
Chapter 1:
The baby woke up at 4:35am and I couldn't get her back to sleep no matter what I tried. It's almost like she didn't care that I was on a work trip yesterday and had a super long, exhausting day, and just wanted to get a good night's sleep. Finally I got her out of her crib at 6am to officially start our morning. However, she didn't want to spend more than 0.0001 seconds trying to latch and began screaming in my face. This really hurt my feelings since my milk supply is only supporting this one morning feeding and I desperately want to make that last as long as possible. So by 6am this morning, I was already at my wit's end and on the verge of tears.
Chapter 2: 30 minutes later
Reagan threw a fit because Grandma tried to help her pick up her Halloween candy. So what would any normal toddler do? Try to dump all the candy that had just been picked up from the middle of the kitchen floor BACK onto the middle of the kitchen floor to pick up all over again... by herself! I, however, wanted to get to work on time, and refused to let her dump all the candy back onto the floor. So a knock-down drag-out temper tantrum ensued. I knew it was coming. But in that moment, I refused to let her take 20 minutes to pick up Halloween candy the way she wanted to (slow as shit). So my child ripped her jacket off, threw it and herself on the floor, and started kicking and screaming. Despite all attempts at conversation and reasoning (because toddler's can't reason... I know this - I swear), I had to pick her up and carry her, in all her fit-throwing glory to the car. She yelled, I yelled, it was a giant yelly mess of a morning. She then kicked my chair and screamed at me (at the tippy top of her little lungs) the whole way to daycare. By the time we got there, she had finally calmed down and we had a discussion about the right way to handle our feelings, and she was fully aware that she should have used her words to ask Grandma nicely to stop helping her pick up her candy. SO WHY DIDN'T SHE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?
Chapter 3: The next 8 hours
I sat in my office all day long and beat myself up about how I handled the candy situation. I screamed. I got upset. I was crying by the time I dropped my kid off at school. I'm not perfect, but neither is she. It's so damn hard sometimes to respond to her insanity the right way. So here I sit, wondering how she's doing at school, feeling sorry about the way the morning went, wanting to hug my little girl, and hoping that this evening will go better. All we can do is try to do it better the next time around, and cherish the 5% moments as much as humanly possible.
Chapter 1:
The baby woke up at 4:35am and I couldn't get her back to sleep no matter what I tried. It's almost like she didn't care that I was on a work trip yesterday and had a super long, exhausting day, and just wanted to get a good night's sleep. Finally I got her out of her crib at 6am to officially start our morning. However, she didn't want to spend more than 0.0001 seconds trying to latch and began screaming in my face. This really hurt my feelings since my milk supply is only supporting this one morning feeding and I desperately want to make that last as long as possible. So by 6am this morning, I was already at my wit's end and on the verge of tears.
Chapter 2: 30 minutes later
Reagan threw a fit because Grandma tried to help her pick up her Halloween candy. So what would any normal toddler do? Try to dump all the candy that had just been picked up from the middle of the kitchen floor BACK onto the middle of the kitchen floor to pick up all over again... by herself! I, however, wanted to get to work on time, and refused to let her dump all the candy back onto the floor. So a knock-down drag-out temper tantrum ensued. I knew it was coming. But in that moment, I refused to let her take 20 minutes to pick up Halloween candy the way she wanted to (slow as shit). So my child ripped her jacket off, threw it and herself on the floor, and started kicking and screaming. Despite all attempts at conversation and reasoning (because toddler's can't reason... I know this - I swear), I had to pick her up and carry her, in all her fit-throwing glory to the car. She yelled, I yelled, it was a giant yelly mess of a morning. She then kicked my chair and screamed at me (at the tippy top of her little lungs) the whole way to daycare. By the time we got there, she had finally calmed down and we had a discussion about the right way to handle our feelings, and she was fully aware that she should have used her words to ask Grandma nicely to stop helping her pick up her candy. SO WHY DIDN'T SHE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?
Chapter 3: The next 8 hours
I sat in my office all day long and beat myself up about how I handled the candy situation. I screamed. I got upset. I was crying by the time I dropped my kid off at school. I'm not perfect, but neither is she. It's so damn hard sometimes to respond to her insanity the right way. So here I sit, wondering how she's doing at school, feeling sorry about the way the morning went, wanting to hug my little girl, and hoping that this evening will go better. All we can do is try to do it better the next time around, and cherish the 5% moments as much as humanly possible.
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